Posts by Aunt Fancy

31

Effect of family life (me, wife and young boy) if I am df / da and wife zealous jw

by Daniel1555 in

jw
friends

i have a question and hope to hear some experiences of you who went or are going through this situation:.

actually for several reasons (blood policy, disfellowshipping policy and some more) my conscience is telling me quite strongly, that i should not anymore be a part of that organization.. my wife and even elders know about my doubts (except blood policy).

however i continue to join the meetings actually just to please my wife and to be together with our baby boy.

Aunt Fancy

A lot of excellent advice was given. You need to start reading the books and websites recommended by others because it will really help you get the programing out of your head and it will help you get your wife out. I started doing the research and I was able to get my husband to read Crisis of Conscience and after that he read everything he could get his hands on and we came out together. I would not DA myself either because you are playing into their hands. They want you to do that so it weakens you and they want control over you. You need to help your wife out and in the mean time you can make new friends. Once your son is in school you will meet all kinds of people especially if he is involved in sports. He deserves to be able to play sports and do fun things that JW's can't do. You also want him to get a good education especially in this day and age. You will also find that because you are seeing the lies you will have a hard time being around them in social settings especially as you make new friends. You are young, get out now while you still have a lot of good years ahead of you. One of the things my husband and I did was take things slowly and it has worked to our advantage. At this point I could care less if they DF'd us but at least we went out on our terms

I wish you the best and hang in there because it is a roller coaster ride!!

Aunt Fancy

85

The final chapter in the confusedandalone story...

by confusedandalone in

this morning i get a frantic call from my sister (who has been baptized 1 year and one month and never attends meetings anymore).

in tears she tells me that this morning my father picked her up in the car and told her that i was am apostate.

that i no longer loved jehovah and that i was going to be disfellowshipped.

Aunt Fancy

I have been following your ordeal since you started posting your story. I am so sorry you are going through this and that your family is acting so unloving. I think what you are doing is the right thing for you, your wife and children. It is sad you will lose your parents and siblings but they have not acted like a Christian should. I will never understand treating your child in the maner they have. I know it is very painful but like you said you have a wonderful wife by your side and your children.

Go out and enjoy your life, you are young and you have the opportunity to bring your children up without the control of this cult. The freedom is wonderful but there are heartaches along the way.

Hang in there and we are always here for you when you need us. Enjoy your cigars!!

9

What makes a "Quality Apostate Website"?

by ILoveTTATT in

jw
friends

i would like everyone's opinion on this:.

what makes a "quality" apostate website?

what makes it bad quality?.

Aunt Fancy

When I was just starting to wake up I read a number of books and then found C of C and if I am correct he mentioned some websites. Books were an eye opener for me but then once I found JWN, JWfacts, JW Sruggle, JWsurvey Freedom of Mind and a few others they really put things together and filled in the blanks.

40

Last night the one cool elder calls me

by confusedandalone in

i figured he was going to arrange the committee and try to get me kicked out after the whole "big pile of books" labelled "take this shit".. well his call made me realize that more and more people ... elders included no longer take this religion seriously.

after he told me he heard what happened he actually laughed and said i would never expect that.

he then told me that it is apparent that i no longer want to be connected to the organization.

Aunt Fancy

The decision you are making is a huge one and I had the same thoughts as you do. We have been fading for a year now and sometimes I feel like I should just DA myself and get it over with. We have taken our time with everything to make sure we are making the right decisions for our life. Someone posted that to DA would be playing their game and you don't owe the WTBTS anything and it really made me think. They are right you would be playing by their rules and doing exactly what they want you to. On the other hand I also realize we are still on their books so to speak and that does bother me at times that I am still connected to them.

I would not go on a fishing trip with them because you have moved on and to listen to all of their nonscense would really probably bother you. Why put up with listening to all of the cult talk and you will find you have nothing in common any longer. When we just started to fade we had dinner with our very good "friends" and we came home and both of us said we did not enjoy them like we use to because their way of talking and what they talked about was so weird to us now. Even if it is a free trip I don't think it is orth it. Besides you can't smoke the cigars you love!! :) LOL

Hang in there!

134

Another story... possibly final story

by confusedandalone in

this is the exchange of text messages i had with my super spiritual brother.

it is sad... it is pathetic... it has helped me realize that i have no connection to these people anymore.

i feel free today.

Aunt Fancy

Wow C&A, I am sorry you are going through this. Your brother is not a nice person and it is so nasty what he did. I think you need to do what makes you feel good and what your conscience allows you to do. You have a lot to think about and I would take your time so that you make the right decision for you and your immediate family.

39

A hello!

by Oogie in

jw
friends

hi, i'm newly awakened and just needing reassurance that the wt is indeed a mind-control cult.

i have two lovely children (under 5) and a husband who is currently asleep..

Aunt Fancy

Welcome Oogie, there has been some excellent advice. Take your time and read everything you can so you will know what the real truth is. I hope you can get your husband out too. If your husband has a beard my suspicion is that he he might not be too difficult to get out. It seems like he already has doubts or he wouldn't have one since they are frowned upon.

25

Your Baptism

by Aunt Fancy in

jw
friends

we have been going through our literature and throwing away a lot of it which feels great.

my hubby came cross the program from my baptism in 1986. the divine peace dc held in the astrodome in houston, tx.

he always wrote the attendance and the amount baptized so on that day there were 30,894 in attendance nd 531 baptized!

Aunt Fancy

?everything, that is funny about the Astro turf. I never gave that a though but then again it probably isn't a big thing to a woman.

FLN, I had a cute suit too and I wanted to put a T shirt on but they wouldn't let mev they said it would look worse with one on.

Wasblind, you brought up some very good points. They do get you when you are at a low point. I feel you were so fortunate you never were baptized but the pain is there no matter what. It takes a huge toll on a persons life.

22

No Natural Affection...

by lostinnj83 in

my latest encounter with my mom has me furious and i needed a place to vent:.

i don't post alot but for anyone who has read any of my posts knows that while i have been struggling for some time, i am still an active jw working towards leaving.. anyway, i got into a car accident yesterday.

fortunately i am well enough to type this up so for that i am greatful.

Aunt Fancy

I am sorry to hear you were in an accident and hurt. I would have your neck checked out just in case because it can cause you a lot of problems in the future. I have had a surgery on mine and you will want to make sure it is covered. Yes, ice it and get plenty of rest and don't be surprised if the next couple of days you aren't hurting all over.

I am also sorry to hear you are dealing with a mom that is being unloving at a time when you need her. Sad to say it is common for someone who is in a cult to act this way. They always say how loving they are and that was what always bothered me, I saw very little love when I was in. I will never understand a parent that doesn't show love when a child is hurting. I always went to my son, daughter in law and grandkids whenever they needed me whether it was a meeting night or not. I guess that is why I am out now!!

I think when you can get to the point where you stop expecting her to act like a loving mom it will be less painful. You have to realize it will never change unless she wakes up. I don't know about any of you but it really seems like JW's are very self-centered. Hang in there and get better real soon.

33

Fading ... Do You Owe Witness Friends An Explanation?

by What Now? in

i'm curious about what you all think on this subject.

when my husband and i became irregular about a year ago, and then inactive around 5 months ago, i felt that it would be hypocritical to take advantage of the social side of the witness community if we weren`t going to meetings or in service.

we stopped entertaining (which we did quite regularly - theme parties, card parties, movie nights, big turkey dinners, breakfasts on holidays etc), and i slowly stopped accepting invitations for get togethers, playdates etc.

Aunt Fancy

You find out real quick that most of them are conditional friends and you don't owe them a thing. It is amazing she deleted you right away when all you told her was that you were having trouble, that is what you call a "real friend"! I too would be upset that the gossip has gotten out of hand because at this point they are lies but realize the source and they aren't worth it.

You have a great way of making new friends and that is through your children. Get them involved in sports and activities that they weren't allowed to before and you will meet plenty of people. It is hard to meet new people but take every opportunity to do it. Also get involved in something you love and that way you have something in common with others.

Hang in there because it is a roller coaster ride but it does get better the further away you get.

15

Obsessive Compulsive Disorder

by hoser in

jw
friends

mine has been getting out of hand the last 13 months.

i know a specific weekend when it started up again last june.. .

i took an extended vacation this summer hoping it would go away but events that transpired at my vacation residence caused me a lot of stress and i can't seem to stop the looping going on in my brain.. .

Aunt Fancy

I wondered if that was what brought it on again. The stress of the JW's sure can bring out a lot of issues. Have you gone to someone who specializes in it where they can give you exercises to use to help control it?